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The Basics
Name: Tess Mercer
Age: 29
Sex: Female
Occupation: Corporate Executivesekrit government agent
Species: Human
Next of kin: n/a
Heaven and Hell
Do you have any previous experience with saving the world? If so, please specify
It's an ongoing process.
Would you be interested in saving the world?
Very much so.
Have you ever ingested demon blood?
Not that I'm aware of.
Would you be interested in ingesting demon blood?
At the moment? No. But it might depend on what it would get me.
Have any of your family members ever ingested demon blood?
I don't have family.
Are you currently possessed by a demon?
While I'm certain there are people who would say yes, no, I'm not.
Have you ever been possessed by a demon? If so, when?
No. Although I was a zombie once. That wasn't fun.
Would you or have you ever had sexual relations with a demon?
I haven't. Would I? Circumstances are so important.
Are you currently residing in or around the area of hell?
While I'm certain there are people who would say yes, no, I'm not.
Have you ever sold your soul to the devil?
Does Lex Luthor count?
Would you be interested in selling your soul to the devil?
Circumstances are so important.
Do you believe in God?
No.
Are you a nun or a priest?
...not officially.
Are you otherwise a person of religion?
That depends on your perspective, I think.
Are you an Angel?
No.
Have you ever invited an angel into your body?
No.
Do you actually believe anything that comes out of an angel's mouth?
I'll let you know if I ever speak to one.
THIS.IS.SPARTAAA!
Do you have any experience with killing monsters ? (World of Warcraft doesn't count)
Yes. See aforementioned zombies.
Have you ever seriously injured a monster?
Yes. Again, zombies.
Have you ever killed a human being?
Several.
Have you ever tortured a human being?
Yes, although it's not my preferred method.
Do you have any special powers? If so, please specify
Intelligence.
On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your pain tolerance?
10+
Can you ...
shoot a gun?
Several different kinds.
wield a sword?
Yes.
wield an ax?
I've never had occasion to, but I'm fairly confident I could.
handle a bow and arrows?
Just ask Oliver. Again, I've never had occasion, but I'm a very quick study.
work a spear?
See above.
break someone's face with your hand?
Oh, yes.
use any other weapons in combat?
Knives. I'm also extremely well trained with a bō staff.
Have you ever punched a werewolf in the face?
Not as yet.
Have you ever suffered from any serious injuries?
Yes.
Do you have any experience in jerry-rigged first aid?
Yes.
Have you died before? If so, how many times?
No, but I have come close.
It's all about YOU!
Do you feel the pathological need to make everything about you no matter what?
Not really, no.
Have you been diagnosed with a mental illness?
Post traumatic stress disorder.
Do you have anger management issues?
Quite possibly.
Do you believe in freedom, beauty, truth, and the power of love?
That's just hysterical.
Do you like 80's rock?
Not particularly.
Have you ever engaged in inter- or outercourse with an animal? If so, list species.
Well, he's not exactly an animal unless we're talking the same way humans are.
Are you currently on drugs?
God, I wish.
Do you have an alcohol problem?
Yes. I can't drink it anymore.
Do you have any prior arrests? If so, what for?
Environmental activism. Protesting. That sort of thing.
Have you done any actual time? If so, what for?
No.
Would you consider yourself to be a loyal person?
Under the right circumstances, yes.
Is family important to you?
Not especially.
Would you die for your loved ones or is your own survival more important?
I have no loved ones.
In order to save the world, are you okay with putting your life in serious danger, watching your friends die and/or die a horrible death yourself ? And this without being paid a single dollar for your efforts?
Already there.
It's time for some MULTIPLE CHOICE questions!
Real vampires should :
a)be staked and/or burned and/or beheaded.
b) get the same rights as human beings.
c) sparkle and stalk underage girls.
d) other. (please specify below)
Do you think the Apocalypse is:
a) bad
b) a really good time
c) a chance to visit old relatives in hell
d) other: It's necessary.
If a girl you don't know approaches you and offers you a deal with the devil, you... :
a) take it.
b) kill her on general principle.
c) forget the deal and fuck her, providing she is hot.
d) other: Talk specifics; mull it over if the terms are acceptable.
Casper is haunting you. What do you need to get rid of the sucker?
a) a good therapist. GHOSTS AREN'T REAL, YOU GUYS!
b) salt and fire.
c) a bazooka.
d) other: A good voodoo spell.
You are confronted with a monster you don't know anything about. You...
a) shoot first, ask questions later.
b) run like hell.
c) preferably postpone the fight until you know more about what you're facing.
d) other: Let security handle it. If they fail, then a.
And last but not least...
If your friend was turned into a unicorn, hypothetically, what would you do to save them?
Having no friends takes care of this all on its own.
Name: Tess Mercer
Age: 29
Sex: Female
Occupation: Corporate Executive
Species: Human
Next of kin: n/a
Heaven and Hell
Do you have any previous experience with saving the world? If so, please specify
It's an ongoing process.
Would you be interested in saving the world?
Very much so.
Have you ever ingested demon blood?
Not that I'm aware of.
Would you be interested in ingesting demon blood?
At the moment? No. But it might depend on what it would get me.
Have any of your family members ever ingested demon blood?
I don't have family.
Are you currently possessed by a demon?
While I'm certain there are people who would say yes, no, I'm not.
Have you ever been possessed by a demon? If so, when?
No. Although I was a zombie once. That wasn't fun.
Would you or have you ever had sexual relations with a demon?
I haven't. Would I? Circumstances are so important.
Are you currently residing in or around the area of hell?
While I'm certain there are people who would say yes, no, I'm not.
Have you ever sold your soul to the devil?
Does Lex Luthor count?
Would you be interested in selling your soul to the devil?
Circumstances are so important.
Do you believe in God?
No.
Are you a nun or a priest?
...not officially.
Are you otherwise a person of religion?
That depends on your perspective, I think.
Are you an Angel?
No.
Have you ever invited an angel into your body?
No.
Do you actually believe anything that comes out of an angel's mouth?
I'll let you know if I ever speak to one.
THIS.IS.SPARTAAA!
Do you have any experience with killing monsters ? (World of Warcraft doesn't count)
Yes. See aforementioned zombies.
Have you ever seriously injured a monster?
Yes. Again, zombies.
Have you ever killed a human being?
Several.
Have you ever tortured a human being?
Yes, although it's not my preferred method.
Do you have any special powers? If so, please specify
Intelligence.
On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your pain tolerance?
10+
Can you ...
shoot a gun?
Several different kinds.
wield a sword?
Yes.
wield an ax?
I've never had occasion to, but I'm fairly confident I could.
handle a bow and arrows?
work a spear?
See above.
break someone's face with your hand?
Oh, yes.
use any other weapons in combat?
Knives. I'm also extremely well trained with a bō staff.
Have you ever punched a werewolf in the face?
Not as yet.
Have you ever suffered from any serious injuries?
Yes.
Do you have any experience in jerry-rigged first aid?
Yes.
Have you died before? If so, how many times?
No, but I have come close.
It's all about YOU!
Do you feel the pathological need to make everything about you no matter what?
Not really, no.
Have you been diagnosed with a mental illness?
Post traumatic stress disorder.
Do you have anger management issues?
Quite possibly.
Do you believe in freedom, beauty, truth, and the power of love?
That's just hysterical.
Do you like 80's rock?
Not particularly.
Have you ever engaged in inter- or outercourse with an animal? If so, list species.
Well, he's not exactly an animal unless we're talking the same way humans are.
Are you currently on drugs?
God, I wish.
Do you have an alcohol problem?
Yes. I can't drink it anymore.
Do you have any prior arrests? If so, what for?
Environmental activism. Protesting. That sort of thing.
Have you done any actual time? If so, what for?
No.
Would you consider yourself to be a loyal person?
Under the right circumstances, yes.
Is family important to you?
Not especially.
Would you die for your loved ones or is your own survival more important?
I have no loved ones.
In order to save the world, are you okay with putting your life in serious danger, watching your friends die and/or die a horrible death yourself ? And this without being paid a single dollar for your efforts?
Already there.
It's time for some MULTIPLE CHOICE questions!
Real vampires should :
a)be staked and/or burned and/or beheaded.
b) get the same rights as human beings.
c) sparkle and stalk underage girls.
d) other. (please specify below)
Do you think the Apocalypse is:
a) bad
b) a really good time
c) a chance to visit old relatives in hell
d) other: It's necessary.
If a girl you don't know approaches you and offers you a deal with the devil, you... :
a) take it.
b) kill her on general principle.
c) forget the deal and fuck her, providing she is hot.
d) other: Talk specifics; mull it over if the terms are acceptable.
Casper is haunting you. What do you need to get rid of the sucker?
a) a good therapist. GHOSTS AREN'T REAL, YOU GUYS!
b) salt and fire.
c) a bazooka.
d) other: A good voodoo spell.
You are confronted with a monster you don't know anything about. You...
a) shoot first, ask questions later.
b) run like hell.
c) preferably postpone the fight until you know more about what you're facing.
d) other: Let security handle it. If they fail, then a.
And last but not least...
If your friend was turned into a unicorn, hypothetically, what would you do to save them?
Having no friends takes care of this all on its own.
